Friday, January 26, 2007

Intentionally Walking Nap Lajoie ("You'll Freeze Ya' Man Parts Off" Edition)

Ball One: Talkin' Baseball

Today's word is "short-sighted," my fellow baseball fans. "Short-sighted," as in: the steroids policy Major League Baseball put in place 8 years ago, the steroid policy Major League Baseball put into place 2 years ago, and even the steroid policy MLB put into place prior to last season; or the recent expansions, adding two teams in Florida, which are now desperately trying to escape Florida, and spending the least amount of money possible to do so, bringing down the level of competition; or the quick fix of making the All-Star game "meaningful" again by giving World Series homefield advantage to the winning league; or, worst of all, this. That's right folks: "short-sighted," as in MLB brokering a deal to make the extra-innings package available EXCLUSIVELY throught DirecTV, while actively seeking to limit the amount of households that can get exposure to their own product. All in the name of 30 million dollars a year, or 1 million dollars per team, per year, after revenue sharing does its thing. So what does a million dollars buy a Major League Baseball team? Try one of these. That's right, Rudy Seanez just signed a contract for a million dollars, meaning, his 1million ERA is more valuable to a baseball owner, than is his fans' ability to watch his team play out of market. Millions of households across America, of course, are incapable of being equipped with a satellite dish. Some don't have adequate Southern exposure, some can't afford the Dish, others (like me) have annoying condo associations or landlords, who simply won't allow it. Of course, they expect the die-hards who would have paid 170 to get the package, to simply get instead. And they probably will get 75% of them. So those who argue that this is a smart business move by MLB are correct. For now. But for how long? You see, like me, many fans became more involved in baseball because of the package. They saw stadiums on TV they wouldn't typically see, and they made trips to those stadiums, or they fell in love with a second team they wouldn't normally root for, and went out and bought some of their gear. I would have raised my kids to be Red Sox fans, MLB fans, if I could just have access to the games. But I can't. And so now my kids probably won't be MLB fans. Because there's no way in hell they are going to be Yankees fans (obviously) or Mets fans (too cruel to an innocent young man.) I have a feeling there are lots more like me out there, who are tired of being kicked like a loyal dog by MLB. I am not following the Sox on a computer and in box scores. I refuse to do it. Call it a protest or call it being smart: I am takin the 170 I would have spent on the package, and the (approximately) 400-500 bucks I would have spent on two trips to Fenway, and buying season tickets to an unaffiliated minor league team. No joke. The Red Sox, along with the Cubs and Yankees have the most spread-out fanbase in the league. They could have made a plea to prevent this, and they didn't. They sold their die-hards for a Rudy Seanez (or 10 games worth of JD Drew (if he plays 140 games, which is awfully unlikely.) So screw them. If they don't care about me, I am done caring about them. Go Bears.

Ball Two: My Pedestrian Friend

Training for the marathon is in full swing. Running 10-11 miles tomorrow, so it is going to be a quiet Friday night for me. Here's a fun story, though: yesterday I was running in my neighborhood, which, for those of you who don't know, is a nice neighborhood, surrounded by not so nice neighborhoods, and a park. Well, I had to run through the not-so-nice neighborhood to get to the park, which is fine. Sometimes it gets me an odd glare, or the occasional mumble from a passer-by (my favorite was when one gentleman saw Brian and I running quite early on a Sunday, and told us "you better run yo' ass out the 'hood") Hooray, gentrification! So yesterday it was about 17 degrees here at dinner time (when I was running.) And as I was approaching the park this elderly pedestrian walks past me, and simply says, "You're gonna freeze ya' man parts, Son." I was comforted to know that this old man was concerned for my man parts, and alas, when I got home and undressed, I wondered if perhaps my pedestrian friend was on to something.

Ball Three: Trying Out The Wire

I have started watching The Wire on Netflix, since pretty much everybody says it is the most amazing show on Television. I will say this: the drama, and action are pretty intense. The acting (so far, and it is the first season) is pretty bad. The directing seems pretty appropriate for the cop-style drama show. It is impossible to make a judgment based on three shows, but so far the hype is overrated. I am keeping an open mind.

Ball Four: Whatever

This is pretty much the most disturbing thing I have come across all week.


At 12:27 PM, Blogger jake said...

MLB needs to get a fucking clue. The Bud Selig era is starting to remind me of the George W. Bush era: Complete incompetence and a total disregard for the thoughts and opinions of the people their "leading."

If I didn't live in Minnesota and couldn't get the dish, i'd be throwing a complete shit fit right now. It is totally ridiculous.

And I still nearly cream my pants that we're about to enter the month where pitchers and catchers report. That's the great thing about baseball: No matter how much they try to fuck with it, at the end of the day it's still a batter trying to beat out a slow chopper to third, with the sun beating down and the grass flying up from his cleats.

Unless you're in the metrodome. Then there's no sun. Or grass.

At 12:28 PM, Anonymous rudy seanez said...

Fuck you.

At 12:40 PM, Blogger g.m.s. said...


Sorry man, you suck.



I hear you. It's a total moral quandary. I mean, I should hate everything MLB stands for (extreme greed, the ugliest aspects of capitalism, gluttony, etc..) and yet I can't pull myself away from the couch once 7pm rolls around on any given summer night. Or I can't avoid overpaying for tickets to any game I can possibly get my grubby paws on. It abuses me, but I can't stop licking its hands. I'm a beaten dog. But, I really think this is a last straw. A summer without baseball for me is totally fuckin' unrealistic. But maybe it just doesnt have to be MLB. I don't know. Of course, I'm not exactly sure what the Newark Bears versions of Daisuke Matsuzaka and Manny Ramirez are. We can be pretty certain they aren't as talented, though. Fuck. What to do? What to do?! I'll tell you, with no Extra Innings, I am really leaning towards the minors.

At 1:01 PM, Anonymous caveman said...

Ugh, MLB. Living in DC ain't no dream when Selig comes to town and gets your mayor to grovel just so he can have bidding rights to a half-rate-should-be-minor-league team from canuckleland- which eventually leads to the mayor taking it in the rear hard from Selig and billing the city for an unnecessary new stadium financed by double digit state taxes. Thanks Selig and thanks Mayor Williams. Now all the fat fu@ks from the suburbs have even more of a reason to cram themselves onto our lovely carpeted metro system.


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